I saw a friend's Facebook post the other night about her child and his first basketball season at a school in Bureau County. I had just posted a few sentences about how proud I was to see my own son score his first basket in his fifth-grade basketball game, so I was immediately interested when I caught the word basketball in her post, thinking it would be similar to mine.
Ready to celebrate her son's milestone, I read on. When I was finished, I was appalled. She wasn't posting to applaud her son's efforts, although she certainly is a proud mom. She was venting about how harshly her son had been judged by other parents in attendance at the game. To make matters worse, the people were parents of her son's teammates. Instead of noticing positives about the boys and the learning process that goes along with the first year in any organized sport, they were making critical remarks about my friend's son and his supposed lack of skills on the court.
My heart broke for her ... and for him. As he was out there giving it his best effort, excited to be part of a team and learning something new, he was oblivious to the fact he was being judged and dismissed by a set of people sitting in the bleachers. A set of people who should know better than that. A set of people who are hopefully teaching their own children to be kinder than they are themselves.
Noticing who the star players are is second nature as you watch a game. They stand out, and there's nothing wrong with praising someone who is doing a great job. But to point out another child's flaws, knowing the parent is likely sitting just feet away from you and can probably hear you? That's pretty low. You can praise your own child for their skills without feeling the need to belittle someone else's child.
Maybe my friend's son will decide at some point that basketball isn't for him. But you know what? Maybe this season will light a fire in him, and he'll decide to give basketball everything he has. Maybe he'll be great someday. Maybe he hasn't had the opportunity to play as much basketball as the so-called "better" kids have had. But maybe with a little practice, he'll end up better than them. Maybe they'll plateau, and he'll grow. Or maybe he will just keep doing what he is doing now, what too many children aren't allowed to do these days — play for the fun of it. There's certainly no shame in that.
The point is, they are only in fifth grade. Anything can happen. Don't pigeonhole a 10 year old. They should be able to learn and have fun without parents saddling them with their own weird hang-ups about winning and competition.
At that age, everyone's game needs improvement, whether your child is the star player or not. Maybe your child needs some extra practice on defense; maybe he needs extra work on his shot; or maybe your son is a great player, but he is a ball hog and he needs to learn the concept of being a team player.
Playing ball at that age is a learning experience. And apparently children aren't the only ones who could use some lessons.
Putnam County Record Copy Editor Shannon Serpette can be reached at sserpette@bcrnews.com.